How to: Develop Long Lasting Friendships
Introduction: When you get to your teen years it can be awkward. So why not bring someone along with you? In this series we will use the term best friend heavily and what we mean by that is: someone who is with you through thick and thin. We aren’t talking about how to become popular with a large group (because we haven’t mastered that, by any means) we are talking about quality over quantity. Throughout this series, we hope to encourage you to value good quality people, because when you hang out with someone a lot you want to make sure they are influencing you in a positive way. So don’t be shy and let’s look at ways to get the best friend for you and live a life full of adventure!
1 of 3 We all have different worldviews about work, money, religion, and so much more that we can’t get into. It’s vital to have people that value the same things. Once you find the right people (ones who have the same values as you), there lies another issue, how do you make friends you like from these people? Never fear, because Ms. Masa is here!
Throughout this article we will explain how to make friends through our friendship experiences.
The first thing you want to be all right with is being “Open minded” like to new places and groups of people. When you are in a large group you can see who sticks out to you the most. Even if someone doesn’t stick out to you, we say, try them out! You never know who’s going to be your friend in a tough situation until you hang out with them. Everyone is different with their weaknesses and strengths. Keep in mind: people aren’t perfect. You have to be fine with that when making friends. In fact, if we didn’t have a mindset of “Try them out!” we would not have been able to experience growing and learning together and from each other. When we first met we just gelled and had an instant friendship, but we came close to losing out on a lifetime of each other if we didn’t make the first effort to meet up.
For all you introverts listen up! If you’ve found someone you like to hang out with, but they have other friends they talk to, you feel like you don’t want to be a bother to them. How’d you get the nerve to call them up or talk to them? I’ll give you something to think over, (Sage talking) there was an instance where I could’ve spent some time with Makana at a party, but because she had another friend there I didn’t even sit with her! It wasn’t a bad memory, just a case of me being socially inept. I was scared I would be a nuisance so I didn’t even attempt to make contact. Don’t be me in this situation. Thankfully, I didn’t keep that up, and have a good friend because of it. Even if they are busy, if you enjoy each other it doesn’t matter, you can make time.
Makana, here! Now, I know you extroverts want some attention, because I know I do! It may be weird to say this but I actually have a best friend I’m loyal to: even though I might go hang out with others or talk to them it does not mean my best friend isn’t good enough. I didn’t know that Sage felt left out at the time because of my spontaneous extroverted personality. I just thought she didn’t want to talk. Communication is important. Because of my personality I learned that when having an introverted best friend you need to include them with all of your groups and all your adventures, which is great! Remember everyone is different.
Now, we are going to say what no one wants to hear, if you still can’t find yourself a good friend, it’s important that you look in the mirror. Before you throw a stone at someone else, look at yourself, are you holding them to the same standards as you hold yourself to? Making friends is all about being open minded, because you both will have to learn new things and cater to the other! If you’ve thought deeply about the person you are, and you wouldn’t want to be friends with the person you are acting like, then think of how to improve yourself and work on your own character development. You can only save others if you’ve saved yourself first, so whatever you need to do before you feel happy with others, do it. Friendship is all about not judging everything as quickly as possible, but waiting to clarify. The main point here is to try not to judge others without knowing their situation, and always give someone grace. Easy rules to live by! You got this!
That was Ms. Masa's tried and true way to make quality friends, and to be a better friend yourself. We hope you enjoyed this article, and take the time to go over our series on Best Friends and how to improve yourself.