How to: Sustain your Friendship
Are you willing to commit?
Being committed is a must in any relationship. As we end our best friend series, we come to our last article and the last step to best friending. There have been many instances where one will have a best friend, and they just split apart, much like a split end, and soon you need to cut the hair completely. Here’s how to not become the split end.
Tip 1. Have Fights! And Arguments!
Here is our advise, if you don’t have any ups and downs in your relationship, you will never appreciate your friend or grow. If you never have any arguments and everything is basically perfect, I doubt you’re human, and I think you might want to go see a doctor, your choice.
The important thing is that even though you are arguing, you can still see how much you mean to each other. Respect, even when you have differing opinions or paths, will save you from heartbreak in the end. If you ever feel like you need to end the friendship, really contemplate, whether you are just upset in the moment or if it’s something that needs to be done. Never ignore your friend because of an argument, more time not solving issues only makes them larger.
Don’t allow things to build up into one mega-fight! The only way to avoid that hideous debacle is to have regular fights. To clarify - fights are supposed to happen, they are normal, because if you address something that has upset you, people don’t always react happily, or if you are stressed. Things like these can spawn arguments, but you have to see past them and recognize the value of the fight. What’s it doing? Helping you to grow and develop past your own means. Differences in opinions can help you understand more about the world, which some would say is the purpose of living.
Tip 2. Don’t grow apart, grow closer
You know what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. When we couldn’t see each other for a long time, we would text, and that has helped us when we couldn’t physically meet to sustain our friendship. Don’t use distance as an excuse; in today’s day and age we can call and text. Use the technology we have. If you are consistent in attempting communication, your friendship will flourish and will last for eternity.
We both had an experience with previous “so called” best friends. Let's take Sage’s story for example: I had a best friend before Makana, though it wasn’t as good of a friendship as I have with Makana, and it worked out until I moved, after that we couldn’t really get in touch, and we just grew apart. We would barely see each other every year, and when we would, it was awkward because we didn’t know each other anymore. We had nothing in common. It was sad for that to happen, but sometimes things don’t work out. You can’t always stay best friends forever, but you can always try. We didn’t try as hard as we could, thus whenever we did see each other again, we didn’t even know each other. Mine is a cautionary tale I’ve learned from, and now have Makana.
Makana’s experience with having a best friend before Sage was a fun journey but (not as fun as Sage.) Looking back at this companionship we would call each other best friends but we weren’t close and it felt more like a once in a while “best friend.” As we got older, our friendship grew apart. When I tried to contact her, she never responded. This goes back to our second article (tip 2) where we talked about equal give and take; there was none of that. It came to that point of ending the friendship completely. I hope that sharing this with you will give you confidence to be able to let go of a friendship when there is no equal give and take.
Tip 3. Enjoy the journey
Have fun with your journey! Friends will come and go but, if you use these tips from the series you will find yourself a friend that will be a mentor and companion in life. Good friendships can saturate your life in the best way, so remember not to let anything get in the way of that! If you’re trying too hard to make your friendship work, then just relax. Friends should be fun, even when things seem like work, it’ll be fun work. Just enjoy the journey your friendship takes. If you do that, then you and your best friend can conquer the world.
In conclusion: Thank you all for tuning in for this enjoyable series, we hope you’ve learned something and share with your best friends. Continue to watch out for more interesting topics on Ms. Masa! Feel free to comment ideas you would like us to explore!